29 March 2008

Little lessons from little-r people

"Baby, finish everything on your plate, or else I'm calling the Oni..."

That is the sum total of our current dinner-table conversations.

(What's an Oni?? Hmmm... read about it here, if you please.)

Much as I hate to resort to the bogeyman, some days, my patience is torn to shreds way before the sun even contemplates moving to the other hemisphere.

I see a little face that's really sad, and about to burst into tears. But holds the tears back, as she tries to be brave.

Now I feel like pond scum. Lower than pond scum. Maybe like the life forms that pond scum hold in contempt and disdain. I try to set things right.

ME: Tell you what, let's just eat three spoons of this. And then we're off the hook.
Little one (LO): OK Amma... Will that make me a good girl again??

Now I demote myself to what the stuff that pond scum hold in contempt hold in utter disdain.

ME: Shall I count??

Me: 1... 2....
Me: 2 and a quarter, 2 and a half, 2.75

By this time, the little one is totally perplexed. But the deal was that she eats and I count.

Me: 2.75.. 2.8.. 2.85.. 2.9..
LO: Amma, what are you doing??
Me: Counting, baby... 2.91.. 2.92.. 2.93..
LO: But are those numbers?
Me: Don't talk with food in your mouth. It's rude. 2.96... 2.97
LO: But Amma, what happened to 3?
Me: Did I lose count??
LO: I think so.
Me: Ok.. Lets, start again..
Me: 1.. 2.. 3.. And done. You can go play for a while.
LO: So I don't have to eat more??
Me: Goodness, look at your plate.... it's empty!!! You ate it all in three mouthfuls!!

The little one thinks about it.

LO: Amma, can I show you something?

And plays her favourite video and I sit down to watch it with her, as I promised I would.

When it's over, she turns to me and asks....
"Amma, now can you count to 10 properly?? Shall we do some numbers now? I'll give you a hug if you get it right."

Little people sure know it all.....

18 March 2008

Isn't it weird?

I wonder how people start to develop opinions about other people. Especially someone they don't know.

I'm not talking about whether Britney Spears was a perpetrator or a victim. It's closer to home. It's about me.

Why are people confused about my gender? Why do they think I want to enhance parts I don't have? Why do they think I want to know who err..... made whooppee with... how many people? Why does anyone feel I would want Viagra? Contrary to what certain folks think, I do NOT want meet available women in my neighbourhood, or city or whatever.

I do not want to buy cheap drugs. Or fake handbags. Or fake watches. Or genuine looking.... er... anything elses. I don't really care if some celebrity is wearing underclothes or not.

I already have a University degree, thank you. I don't think I am in the market for one.
I don't own a home yet, so hold back on that mortgage.

But wait....
you are an heir of the late dictator of some country I can't find on a map, and want to give me few millions?? On second thoughts, thanks, but no thanks.

10 March 2008

A Monster Outing

There they stood, like the hordes of Sauron. Like the countless armies of boundless Mallorea....


My fantasy series' are getting somewhat mixed up, what??

Let me start again. Think of the innumerable hordes of Sauron (for the uninitiated, refer to The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King), picture them as they ready to march off to battle. Now open said image in GIMP (or Photoshop, if you will), remove Orodruin (Mount Doom) from the picture, transfer the horde, as is, to the Ice age and freeze the hordes till they start to resemble Popsicles.

Isn't this what you'd come up with??

Would they look like this?

The summit is totally covered with snow monsters (Juhyou).

Where did these monsters come from??

The Aomori fir trees that cover the peak of the mountain are constantly layered with hoarfrost until they lose any semblance of trees and turn into something straight out of a fantasy (or horror) movie.

On a clear day like this, the snow monsters are a truly amazing sight.

I should mention here, that this was our second trip to Zao in three weeks. The last time we were there, we met up with this blizzard who had descended from Siberia, and who simply wouldn't go away. Visibility was about 8 -10 feet.

Pretty sad, isn't it?

And I badgered and badgered the other half, till he gave in, and we drove down again, and took our chances with the weather. "What if visibility is bad, or if the snow has melted?" asked the OH. But I was determined to go to Zao, and off we went. And took a chance on the weather!

This time around, it was a gloriously clear day. And (at 5°C) warm to boot! When we got to the top, the long drive o'er hill and dale was so worth it.

I could see shutterbugs right at the summit. Of course, they probably didn't get there with two kids in tow.

There were these huge, white, bizzare forms all around us.

As we took the cable-car down to the foot of the mountain, I caught glimpses of skiers and snowboarders weaving among these giant, mysterious, creatures.

All I could think of was an army of fantasy monsters, marching inexorably towards civilizaiton, gobbling up ski enthusiasts as they went by.