I nominate me...

... for this year's Nobel prize in medicine.

I proudly announce that I have discovered new muscles in my body that I solemnly swear never existed before.

I started on a new fitness regime, and did an hour long aerobic workout. I am so sore, it's not funny. It even hurts to bat my eyelids. Or smile. Or sulk. I can't even work up the enthusiasm to take a sip of water. Too much work.

Maybe I should get the kids to get me water in a saucer and then proceed to lap it up.

After that I would lose all rights to tell them to keep their elbows off the table.

Ah well, till someone else does better, I can at least dream of a prize other than fitting into my favourite pair of jeans.